The Surprisingly Remarkable Role of Self-Compassion in Weight Loss

"OMG, I look so fat in this!"

"Why didn't you tell me my butt looks huge in this dress?"

"Don't take my photo, I feel like a stuffed pillow...."

At one time or another, you might have heard the women around you say one of these statements or a version of it. Heck, you might have said it yourself! Statistics show that women attempt to diet at least once in their lifetime - more, depending on where they live, what kind of socio-economic bracket they fall into and what kind of media they are exposed to. 

It must be very, very rare to come across someone who hasn't gone on a weight loss journey of some sort during the course of her life. Even if you are in the healthy weight range, being entirely happy in how you look and feel, all the time, is a big ask. In this fast-paced, high-pressure, always-on-the-go world of today, it is nigh on impossible. If you are struggling with weight management, these negative feelings get amplified. 

But what if you decide to do things a bit differently? Like, give yourself a little grace, a little self-compassion?

According to a recent study conducted by Drexel University at their Center for Weight, Eating and Lifestyle Sciences, self-compassion plays a crucial role in weight loss efforts. When they led with compassion, the study participants found that they were less demoralised by setbacks and more able to meet their goals. When they dealt with their dietary fails with self-compassion, they were able to get over the lapse easier and move on to build better, more successful habits, which proved fruitful in the long run. They weren't bogged down by feelings of guilt; by not giving space for negative self-talk, they were able to overcome their dietary lapses before they snowballed into something major. 

Well, who woulda thunk it? Apparently, treating human beings with a bit of self-compassion is a powerful tool! Go figure! 

Before we go any further, what IS self-compassion? In the words of Dr Kirstin Neff, who coined the word, "...it means being supportive when you’re facing a life challenge, feel inadequate, or make a mistake. Instead of just ignoring your pain with a “stiff upper lip” mentality or getting carried away by your negative thoughts and emotions, you stop to tell yourself “this is really difficult right now,” how can I comfort and care for myself in this moment?"

So what else can happen if you continue down the same path? 

1.Reduce stress

It is no secret that a constant barrage of negative feelings leads to feelings of inadequacy. Accumulation of stress could have a lasting impact on your health such as affecting your blood pressure or even causing cardiovascular disease. Constant self-criticism and self-judgment would only lead you to castigate yourself for every imagined 'failure' or mistake. 

This is counterproductive as stress causes you to turn to unhealthy crutches to 'cope', such as emotional eating. Emotional eating always ends with you feeling much worse than you started, coupled with a side of shame for your perceived 'lack of willpower'. 

Instead, if you treat yourself with compassion and kindness, you will be able to come up with healthier coping mechanisms. The next time you feel overwhelmed, instead of turning to food for comfort, you would make healthier choices such as going for a walk or putting on the music and dancing.

2.Consistency becomes more attainable

Many people adopt an all-or-nothing approach to weight loss. Keeping yourself to a strict routine, allowing no leeway, and holding yourself to a high standard might work for some, might work for a brief period but not as a long-term solution. And if you do happen to slip up a bit? Fall for your friend's 'eh just one drink/piece of cake/plate of biryani won't hurt!'? What then? Epic fail? 

But, compassion makes you view things with a lot more grace. You know missing Tuesday's training isn't going to derail your entire program, as you will be back in the gym for the next session. Instead of letting a minor setback become something major, it allows you to move on and fight another day.

And so, it makes consistency possible. When you do not have to resort to an all-or-nothing approach when you know just because today didn't go as planned, tomorrow may well do, being consistent with your efforts becomes that much easier. No more letting self-defeating thoughts win!

3.Body positivity

Negative body image doesn't exist in a vacuum. Body dissatisfaction can lead to something worse, like developing eating disorders. In a world where you get bombarded with unhealthy body images and unattainable, not to mention, unhealthy body goals, having a body-positive image is itself an act of self-compassion.

Instead of reducing yourself to numbers on the scale or the measuring tape, self-compassion encourages you to view yourself in a kinder light. It lets you appreciate your body for all that it can do, for all that it is capable of. Instead of ruing over how much larger your thighs are in comparison with your friend's, it makes you appreciate how your strong thighs help you squat heavy weights. When you appreciate your body for its strength and resilience, you can have a more loving relationship with your body.

And when you are in a loving relationship with your body, you will not be swayed by harmful fad diets, extreme workouts, and quick fixes. 

4.Nuanced goal-setting

Goal-setting is important for long-term success in any endeavor - be it with your weight loss program or for anything else in life. With clearly defined goals and parameters, your journey becomes that much more attainable. 

How can self-compassion help you with goal-setting, you ask? By giving you a fresh perspective. When you lead with self-compassion, you set realistic and achievable goals; you are not swayed by impossible ideals and standards. You have no need to bow down to external pressures. You find it easier to make good choices because your motivation comes from within.

5.Putting it into practice

It is all nice and fine to say, treat yourself with compassion, but how do you translate that into action? 

First step: change how you talk to / about yourself. No more putting yourself or your efforts down. More "I got this", less of the "can I?" When you change how you think and talk about yourself, you are sending yourself a message of self-compassion. If in doubt, ask yourself if you would speak so to your best friend. If the answer is a horrified no, ask yourself why would you treat yourself that way?

What many people do not seem to realise is that mindful eating is a part of self-compassion - you are choosing to focus mindfully on what you are nourishing your body with. This is an act of love and compassion in its best form. When you really lean into this, you will never be disturbed by teasing words over your diet or any lifestyle changes you choose to make. 

Detach yourself virtually by deleting as many of the social media channels as possible. If much of your daily life is absorbed by your mobile phone, your mental and physical health will definitely suffer. Choose physical activity over virtual instead.  

If you are planning to start 2025 by focusing on your health goals or weight loss goals, remember: self-compassion works! And you are the only person who can make a change. Giving yourself a hard time will only lead to negative emotions. Treat yourself how you would treat your most treasured person and you will not only enjoy better mental health but you will have better physical health too.  

Get in touch with us today to kickstart your fitness journey and unlock better physical and mental health.